Hate.
II. Asgard
“An emissary from the Greek Sanctuary will arrive within a few days.”
Hilda’s voice had sounded deep and sorrowful. Despite Athena’s attempts to convince her of the contrary, and the fact that they had joined their powers to bring them all back to life; she still felt guilty.
A Goddess and an Avatar, who had fought against each other once. Two powerful loving women who were now working together for the well-being of their warriors.
However, Merak Hagen felt it should not happen. Because he had trembled when he heard the name of said emissary.
‘Cygnus Hyoga.’
All of them were together once again. Just as they had been for the past weeks—months actually. Seven warriors, one shadow, two valkyries. Even the Gods of the Norsemen loved to play with them showing a twisted sense of humour. Yet, it was not funny whatsoever.
“My Lady, why is he coming?”
The woman remained silent for a while. She would have wanted to explain how sorry she was for having the young warriors passed through such a hard test. That she had been the only one to blame for Asgard’s disgrace. For their deaths. However, her long conversations with Athena had been taking many months now. The power of a Goddess was needed to claim the bodies of the Warriors from the guardian earth. The Soul of a Valkyrie was necessary to summon the Spirits of the Warriors who had been sleeping. The woman even recalled the times she had said she was sorry. How many bitter tears had she shed just out of regret—then, Athena’s words comforting her.
Not a sound but their own breathing could be heard in the room. One more step she gave, and they all could hear the silky, yet warm fabric slightly touch the furniture.
Green emerald-like eyes were staring at her in fear. The youngest Valkyrie, newly aware of her own power, saw her sister wandering in the mists of her memories. Fhler stood up ready to take her place and help the older woman. Just to be stopped by her.
“Allow me Fhler, please” Both women nodded. “If they had not interfered you wouldn’t have died, am I right? I know it too well. However, they were necessary so Poseidon’s evil plan could have been stopped and Asgard was saved. And both things came to pass. We all lost something precious in that battle but…” Hilda’s voice sounded broken at times. All eyes were upon her as she regained the strength to keep speaking, “only by the union of the lands of the Sun and the Moon, all the innocents who had died could return to life and the sinners’ faults could be forgiven.” Hilda turned to face them. Walking back to the centre of the room. Alberich trembled in his seat.
“Call it nonsense if it’s your like; I call it retribution.” She finished.
Alberich stood up angry, while Jinx snorted underneath Phenrill’s legs. Tholl had closed his eyes long ago, while crossing his arms across his chest. Mime began to play an Asgardian lullaby on his lyre. Cyd and Bud just stared at each other, pretending to be looking in the other for a trait that had made them different one from the other. Siegfried simply stared at Hagen. He could see the ice and the fire of his cosmos colliding in those eyes he knew so well. Years of having spent their time together by the Princesses side, had taught him to know his partner. Alpha had felt something in Hagen only he could sense.
Hagen was to face his killer, Cygnus Hyoga.
And for a moment, he thought about each of them being in the same position. One way or the other, both sides have been mistaken. Still, he pictured himself facing Sorrento of Sirene. His blood stopped running for countless seconds. It was different with Sorrento. At least, the Greek Warriors were trying to help Hilda, while Sorrento—it was all about treason with him. It had been so painful—it still was—so horribly painful. Sometimes, he could even hear Sirene’s song in his head—the man stood up abruptly, avoiding going to Hagen’s side.
Neither of them even noticed the passing of time. The fire still crackled in the chimney but one by one, the people in the room walked to their rooms. Ever since they were back, they had all come to live in the Valaskiaf. All of them trying to be together as ‘a family’; what a wicked picture that was, nevertheless, life together had not been as difficult as they thought it would have been in the first place. At least, Hilda thought sometimes, they weren’t trying to kill each other—yet.
“Sieg…” The rough, deep voice sounded in the middle of the silent room. Hagen had at least said something even when he did just as the night had been fading away. Now it was only the two of them in the room. One was sitting, the other walking to the door. Mute witnesses one of the other, “don’t go, please.”
Alpha looked at him again and walked back, closing the door behind him. Contrary to what he had thought a short while ago, the night was definitely not over, even though silence was still predominant between them. Not a word being spoken. Only their breathing and their hearts pounding in their chests as if they were to find the answers themselves.
“I want to leave…” Merak began to say, at times, he nervously passed his hands through his hair, other along his body; or simply laying on the big armchair was enough, then he sat straight again. “at least while he is here.”
Siegfried could not help but think to himself. Leaving, as if by doing so, something could have been actually solved. The man of the ash like hair was fixedly looking at the fire, it seemed so alive at times, yet it was clear it was dying as the night went on. Hagen’s words still running through his head. Leaving—what an option.
“Hilda wouldn’t allow it, Hagen.” Siegfried broke the silence turning to look at his friend, “and it seems the time has come for us to face our demons and come to terms with them, doesn’t it?” The man walked over to his friend and sighed, sitting next to Hagen. “I’ll be with you,” The Asgardian Captain was not the one speaking now, and Hagen could tell. The tone of his voice, the way his eyes stared at him, it was the childhood friend the one before him, anticipating Merak’s next words “because I know you’d do the same if it were me the one walking this unpleasant path.”
“It’s not fair.” Siegfried noticed the fire fighting to be released from the chimney. “It’s not fair.” Hagen repeated.
“Let’s face it, my friend. It wasn’t their fault either.” But Alpha’s words only helped Merak to bring memories back to him. Hyoga being covered by Fhler. The woman he had loved since he was just a kid was risking herself so she could save a foreigner from him. Blue eyes. Blond hair. The face in his nightmares. Yes, his friend and captain was right; it had not been their fault, yet the result had been just the same. Seven dead God Warriors. And his own killer was the one coming to pay them a visit—to laugh at him in his very face.
A nod and the topic died in the whispered sounds of the silence that had fallen upon them again. What could two old friends say when the feelings were the same? How to give comfort, when you had found none yourself? After midnight, both of them walked out of the room heading to their private chambers. Siegfried’s was in the West wing of the Castle; Hagen’s was in the East.
“What took you so long?”
Merak was not expecting that voice, yet he knew deep inside it might have been over there. The man did not want to see her. Not her, not that night. Hagen pleaded to Odin so he would not have to open his eyes and see the blond hair, the green eyes looking back at him, bringing pain and memories to him. However, there was nothing he could have done, for the woman called him again, making him see her, and then for his own torture, he would feel as if he were seeing Hyoga, his killer. It was nothing but that indeed; torture.
The man quickly told her about having talked with Siegfried. Of course, he omitted the part of the conversation related to Cygnus.
Everything in the room seemed to have been set for them. The light was very dim and the dark curtains had already been closed long ago, making it impossible for the moonlight to enter. Trying as hard as he could, Hagen locked the door himself, for he knew the ritual too well by now.
The fire was already lit; in fact, it had been burning for a while now. It had been weeks already since Fhler had been learning to use her own cosmos. Too many a night had been spent by Hilda’s side working on it over and over. The young woman would then walk towards him and would take his hand, making him walk towards the bed. The man would just obey and sit. By that moment, a scent of flowers would have filled the room while the woman’s scent would have filled him. Fhler would walk to him pulling his legs apart, placing herself in the space between them. Then he, the powerful Hagen of Merak would close his eyes and would have thoughts of ice and fire; giving in to her desires and his own instincts. He was not being used whatsoever, he was not using her, it was merely physical need which had brought them together, nevertheless. That night in particular he was just—not willing. The Warrior could not even think about a reason for having accepted the whole thing in the first place. Maybe it was all about guilt. Maybe it was all about needing someone to warm not only one’s body, but also one’s heart.
Fhler knew it. The woman had felt all those emotions in her own skin. Maybe it was all because the Valkyrie within had become more aware of the things around her. Maybe, it was because now, after so many months, she could feel the souls herself; and Hagen’s soul had been dead, hence, she could relate to it and reading them was as if looking at an open book. The Valkyrie still hoped the love they had once felt for each other would have been enough to help them both. She was making love to him once again, knowing he was now willingly giving in to her—for one last time.
Sooner than he thought, it was morning again. The night had ended without him noticing it. The bed had now an empty cold side, and he wanted to claim the warmth for himself again. A stupid idea, he thought, for he knew it also. Sharing that time with her was never to happen again. He sat on the bed silently looking across the room. His clothes were carefully placed on a chair next to the bed. No one sign of Fhler being there at all. As if she had never been there.
The previous night had definitely been a farewell. For Good.
Odin’s Warrior stood up and walked towards the windows. It was a freezing morning as they had not been for as long as he could remember. He opened the curtains, allowing the strong light to hurt his eyes. It was cold outside. As cold as the tiles of the floor were determined to let him know. What time Fhler might have left, he wondered. He opened the window, letting the blowing wind in. Cold—just as his own heart was. Despite the gelid environment surrounding him, he was still able to feel the warm kisses trailing paths along his body, but the feeling was still the same—cold, the chilling wind blowing directly to his face was not helping much. He feared, for he had started looking inside himself and so far he had found nothing but more cold. No trace of his once fiery cosmos within.
He walked outside the Castle, desperately walking under the falling snow. Hagen did not even need to see where he was going; he knew the path too well. The volcano was in the south, on the way to the Priestess Praying Place in front of the Arctic Ocean. He had not been there since it had all happened, but now he needed to be there before panicking.
The hot environment was suffocating; more than he even remembered it to be, however, it was not the moment for thinking about it, at least it was not now that his mind was re-enacting the moment when Fhler fell over Hyoga’s body covering him from his fire. She had betrayed him, even though, after so many months thinking about it, he could say she had not. But then again, why did he have to feel so guilty for the whole thing?
Merak was starting to feel out of place while being in the volcano. Contrary to the others, he had not felt like going to look for his armour. The God Warrior in him had deliberately put aside the fact of what he was, and if for him, Sleipnir could sit and wait because he definitely was not going for it. Not remembering was his way of not facing his own ghosts. Oblivion had been what Fhler had been giving him throughout these months, even if it had been useless, at least in her arms, he could forget—for a brief moment.
It was all freezing cold now. Hagen was not able to feel the heat of the place anymore. In that moment, his body, heart and even cosmos were all frozen and the volcano was only a reminder of that. The same place that had been his hideout for so many a year, his personal training place was now his fiercest foe, forcing him to leave, telling him he was not welcome anymore. Making it more than clear that he, Hagen of Merak, was not whom he used to be.
“Why?!” he shouted, bitterly.
No one answered. At least not before he fainted.
Continue: BAck to the Beginning
Ariadne, 2005