Eyes (V.O 2 )
“The perfect moments were the ones
that touched Aphrodite the most;
they were like jewels unexpectedly
found in the path of life”
Pisces Aphrodite.
La Decisión de Hefesto
II. Revelations
Shaina was passing through Aioria’s Temple when he jumped out of his bed in the very moment he had felt her. Aioria had been on his bed trying to sleep and not being able to do it. Many a sort of a dream he had had already and Shaina had always been by his side in them. He would hold her in his arms, or he would just sit next to her, holding her hand in silence. It had been when he was in those dreams that he felt her crossing the Leo Temple. The man ran barefoot to the door, which communicated his private rooms with the exterior; not sure if coming out was the right thing to do. Aioria hid in the darkness of the place. The moon seemed to want to avoid him and his temple, for the night looked darker than some hours before. The man silently stood there, his mind yelling for a sight of her. One more time, he pleaded in a whisper. There were no reasons for him to be there anyway, waiting for that second of her company. Since Aioria thought Shaina to be unreachable, he did not mind her not knowing he was waiting for her. However, everything was strange to him. Having acknowledged his feelings, what had happened with Marine just some hours ago; everything was unexpected, yet, to Aioria it all fitted perfectly. The man had been trying to make it all simpler so that he could actually understand his current state of mind. He could not do so, though, for as soon as he made it all clear, it became uncanny yet again.
How wicked the games of the Gods were— for the past months, after all the battles were over; his life had been torture, and after his encounter with Marine, he had finally accepted the reason. Despite being uncommon, his feeling was true and he had come to terms with it throughout the night. However, he still doubted it. Leo wanted Shaina—needed her.
“Ophiuchus Shaina” Aioria said as if she could listen to his whispers. “Shaina.” He repeated, and his cosmos shone bright, telling her she could pass. Hiding beneath that he wished to share a moment with her, to have her by his side, just there, even if in silence, but just to have her close. That he knew. How could it be to have a little conversation? What if she giggled? The man moved his hand through his hair, smirking.
Nevertheless, reality is another thing, and it is not always possible to get what your heart desires, but—what if your heart could obtain what it seeks? Then, what would a person do? Leo had no answer for that. He feared the questions for he knew he would give it all up just for that answer. Would his Goddess ever forgive his blasphemy? He would never know, for he dared not to ask.
His heart was heavier than ever before. Many a question was growing in his mind. Why was she going up the twelve temples at that hour? Who was she looking for up there? The man shook his head with violence. It was not important. He had shared something with her for the second time that night. First in the river, now in Leo’s.
After a while, Leo was not certain how long had it been, he felt her passing through the Temple again. This time she was walking down the steps, the opposite way and so, he walked out. The man hid his cosmos and went out, like a lion, crouching before attacking his prey. He stood behind a column, staring at the female figure walking in there, the wind bringing him the smell of her. He closed his eyes smelling, lost in it. Enjoying it. The footsteps suddenly stopped. Aioria could hear his heart beat almost as if it were out of his chest and near his ear; but soon they began again; slower this time, but unmistakable. Shaina was walking out.
He sighed when she was gone.
* * *
“Marine, what are you doing here?”
Shaina asked when she saw the other woman walk by the grave. She had just talked to the Goddess and had meant to say goodbye to Cassius. Eagle looked at her without saying a word, still trying to understand the events of that evening.
“Marine, I’m talking to you!”
“And I’m not answering, am I Shaina?”
Ophiuchus backed up, staring back at the cold stone of the grave. At first she hesitated before doing anything; he was not sure as to what to do regarding Marine, since something truly wrong must have happened for Eagle to speak like that. Shaina looked at her, their two cold silver masks staring at each other. Marine’s cosmos was uninviting and almost challenging, which was the last thing Ophiuchus wanted that night. In a twisted way they were the same, but she knew the mere offering of help would have been awkward for both of them. Always rivals, always on opposite sides, pretending to be good friends was not a natural thing between them.
Cassius’ grave was just a few meters from her cottage, Aioria had wanted it that way; he had said to Seiya once that he Cassius could protect Shaina from there and at the same time she could see him from her house. Seiya had told her all this one day when he went there to pay his respects to her apprentice’s death. Seiya had also said he was sure Cassius was truly watching over her. She had honestly smiled and bowed slightly, accepting his words. Pegasus had been right, though. Cassius had been literally looking after her since she had felt protected all this time.
It had been a night of changes for her, for that reason, Snake took her mask off one more time. She thought that in the past twenty-four hours, she had taken it off more times than in her entire life. Shaina started to pray. It was perhaps the first prayer she had ever learnt. It was old, said in her mother’s tongue, modified to suit Athena on whom she believed. The woman said the words with all her heart so that Athena would not be mad at her for her heresy. It did not matter, she said to herself, it was a lesser pain having gone through all the things she had gone through. She had always felt Cassius as someone close. He had been her disciple after all. Ophiuchus had asked of him more than he had been able to give. Yet, deep inside, she had known he could have done it. He, Cassius deserved an armour, though Pegasus had not chosen him. It had been her doing, her blindness that did not let her obtain what was best for him. It was her responsibility and she had to atone for it in every single way she could. Finally, Shaina knelt before the grave. The cold rough stones hurt her knee enough for her to endure it. The woman had never really cared about anything else but Cassius since he had died and her own world had changed.
Marine had been looking at Shaina, observing her every move. It was uncanny the way Shaina was behaving. She had always been a visceral warrior, one that knew the facts and took action, not one that pondered anything. Marine let her head fall to one side, listening to the sort of humming of the other. She had heard that language before, when Shaina and her sister had arrived at Sanctuary, and she knew they always used it before going to bed.
“What are you doing?” Eagle asked.
“Atena, madre nostra,!
Sia santificato il tuo nome.
Venga il tuo regno...
Sia fatta la tua volontá.
Come in cielo cosí in terra.”
Shaina remained immersed in what she was doing. Her mother used to tell her that is she was focused she could make it all; otherwise, talking to God would have been futile. And Shaina had always done it, even when God had changed His name and had become Athena.
“Dacci oggi il nostro pane quotidiano,
E rimetti a noi i nostri debiti,
Come noi li rimettiamo ai nostri debitori.
E non ci indurre in tentazione,
Ma liberaci dal male.”
She did not mark herself with the sign of the cross on her chest. The woman didn’t even remember how to do it, and so, she just remained there, saying the final words and then she fell silent for a few more seconds. It was time to go. That evening, every thing that reminded her of her childhood and what she had just done was a proof of that.
Ophiuchus stood up and started to walk back to her cottage. Many things needed to be arranged and she meant to leave as quickly as possible. It was then that marine truly saw her. The marble-like face, the immaculate looks. Her eyes.
“They are green.” She heard Marine saying while passing near her.
“I beg your pardon?”
“Your eyes, they are green.”
“Marine, what are you talking about?” Shaina asked while standing, surprised by the other’s words.
“He was talking about her eyes…hers…” Marine murmured, taking her fingers to her mouth and moving them over it while lost in her thoughts. Marine didn’t even realise that she was actually speaking aloud. Marine could see Shaina talking but could not hear her words.
“Marine…Marine…” Snake said, shaking Eagle.
“Let go of me!” Marine yelled, freeing herself from Shaina’s grip. Marine could not understand. What if they had become intimate and she had just been played by them? Marine felt the world falling on her shoulders at that second. Her actions of the past came back to her, haunting her. All those doubts were eating her formerly eased soul. The sensations on her body were almost suffocating. Shaina let her be. She had more serious issues to deal with now. Marine had never needed her before, and that evening it wouldn’t be any different. On the contrary, both of them had always been self-sufficient and had needed no one’s help.
The Amazon just stood there, watching Shaina in silence. Women can’t be fooled. They would need one word, perhaps two to understand a whole life. To her dislike, Marine had been coming to terms with the fact that she wasn’t only a warrior. She was also a woman. One who had had love in front of her for many a year and had also overlooked it. That was one of those moments of epiphany. Marine understood Aioria’s words.
‘They’re not green’ ‘I can’t love you’, he had said. Leo was in love with green eyes. The very ones she did not have.
Marine was watching each of Shaina’s movements carefully. She had never feared Shaina, but had always respected her. vTo her, Shaina was a tenacious warrior; a very powerful one, besides, during the latest battles, Shaina had also proven a very handy addition to their rebellion. No matter the reasons, Shaina had finally faced Sanctuary’s and Athena’s enemies. However, she still felt that Shaina had done something that might have given her an advantage. It was then that Marine laughed to herself. The most probable situation was that Ophiuchus did not know what her mind was inventing. Eagle could not help herself, though. She was just wandering in her thoughts, asking herself how Aioria knew Shaina’s eyes were green, not finding any answers to her questions.
“Shaina—” she finally said, while the other woman was standing ready to leave and turned to her. “Who has seen your face—ever?
Shaina stood up. She had her mask in her hand and looked at it thinking about how to answer Marine’s question and not feel more ashamed. ”Seiya and Aioria…” she answered.
“I understand…”Marine began to say interrupting her. There was a feeling growing within her; one that was making her ask more questions to herself. She stopped thinking when she noticed Shaina was not finished.
“They saw my face when I tried to kill Seiya at the hospital…it happened before the Battle of the Twelve Temples; later, when the battle of against Poseidon took place, the rest of the Bronze Saints saw my face as well.”
“Shaina…why—”
“That’s my shame Marine. Mine alone and that’s why I’m leaving.” Shaina responded at once, not wanting to her the other patronise her.
The two women stood there in silence, one next to the other but not really acknowledging their presence. Marine was trying to understand everything she had just heard. To her, every word Shaina said was a confirmation that it was Shaina of whom Aioria had spoken before. Time froze, she thought, though it was her tears trying to find their way from his eyes and down his cheeks what made her realise what she was doing. She held her tears, though. It was not the place, nor the moment to have a break down.
There were so many things she might have wanted to say, yet, she decided not to do a thing. Apprehension—perhaps caution—prevented her from doing anything.
“Where are you going?” She finally asked, knowing it was inevitable not to ask.
“Home…maybe.”
Shaina let her voice linger with the words still in her mouth. She could taste the bitter flavour and grimaced. Home was supposed to mean warmth, yet it meant cold to her. It meant going back to a place she never desired to return—and the thrill of doing it, of facing her past was overwhelming.
Both Korês remained silent while Shaina enjoyed her final moments in the place. Marine was observing her, trying to fathom from her covered face all the reasons she needed to stop blaming Shaina. The woman then saw Ophiuchus who had started to walk, waving her hand goodbye, then putting her hands in her pockets as she moved away. Shaina did not look back, being too intuitive as for not knowing Marine was looking for something in her. There were just a couple of hours before dawn and it was the perfect moment to leave.
Neither Snake nor Eagle pronounced a goodbye. The words were not necessary. They were not part of the moment.
Although Marine waited until Shaina disappeared, the latter decided not to look at the other woman. It was better if she avoided any confrontation. Things were not easy for anyone, and she had no right to make it all worse. Shaina walked in silence to her cottage. The rocky path allowed her to kick a few pebbles as she advanced. Somewhat, she felt lighter, and that was fine, she said to herself. To her disappointment however, someone was waiting for her. One of Athena’s priestess stood motionless near her house door.
“Lady Ophiuchus,” the woman began to say and then bowed before her. Shaina leaned her head a little as a sign of respect towards her and asked her to speak. “The Goddess has sent you this and says she’s not taking a negative as a response.” The woman stretched her hands, showing a small leather bag and held it before Shaina. Behind her mask, Shaina raised her brow while she tilted her head to one side. Next, she took the small bag and opened it, finding a large amount of money in it. The woman was already leaving when Shaina meant to reply. Snake managed to mumble something and gritted her teeth, something that sounded as a curse nobody heard.
Once again, her fate had mocked her.
Alone in the dark, Shaina lifted her head and allowed herself a moonbath. She took the bag to her chest, laughing at the predicament it’d meant for her to accept Athena’s will after everything they have gone through, at the same time, she knew she had simply do it without any hesitations. After all, weren’t their demons already exorcised? Shaina sighed.
‘Is everything OK?’
‘Yes, my love…’
She had heard them when she was leaving the Temple—and then, she thought of Seiya and felt nothing. Shaina sighed again. It was as if all those previous months; her fighting against Pegasus, against herself because f her feelings, had happened many years ago. It felt so bizarre, and yet, her talk with Athena, the fact that Seiya calling Athena his love had not bothered her whatsoever—what had bothered was that Marine smelt of Aioria. It was not jealousy. Nothing had ever happened between her and Aioria anyways; however, it had made her feel uncomfortable. She entered the place, picked her fewest things and left. She walked down, heading right to Athens not knowing if coming back was indeed an option or not. In fact, Shaina did not want to think about it either. In her mind, there were things way more important than Sanctuary. There was the urge to find herself before ever being on Athena’s service again. She felt divided inside, and she needed to feel whole before carry on with her life in the Holy place. Then, determined, she simply closed the door behind her and finally walked away.
There were no guards around and she could leave quickly without being stopped. She walked and did not look back. Shaina knew too well that if she did despite her determination, she would run back to the place. She might even run to the fifth temple, maybe, just maybe, open her heart, and speak her fears to the temple’s owner. What would be Aioria’s answer, se wondered—she sighed at the thought. She breathed deeply when she found herself standing on the beach near Piraeus Port. Her steps had been steady and she did not count the time, nor the steps taken to get to that place. Rodhorios was not that near to Piraeus, but well, that was not really important after all. From where she was standing, Shaina could see many a ship ready to sail, awaiting for their owners and their sailors to take them to the see. Some of the local fishermen were just walking along the place, looking for those ships she’d just been watching; one at the time, none of them was noticing her.
When she became aware of that, she also realised she was still wearing her mask. It had never been a predicament for her, on the contrary; however, in that morning, she took advantage of the situation and knowing she did not want to walk with it on, she took her mask off. The feeling of the wind gently caressing her face, made her feel utterly excited.
With her eyes as if brand new, she looked at every thing around her as if it were the first time. It all made her feel overwhelmed. The Korê walked to the sea, her clothes and shoes getting soaked wet by it. She screamed full of joy and happiness and although she felt like it, still, she did not cry. Not even because of joy.
In that morning, the sky and the ocean were bluer than usual. The sun was brighter and as she breathed deep, her nose brought her smells she did not have any recollection of. She held her mask tighter, looking at it as a strange yet familiar object. Shaina laughed loud, knowing that the next time she would wear it—if ever—she would have no regrets or sorrow. She put it in the small bag and kept walking.
* * *
Athena had ordered the construction of a dinning room adjacent to the main square in front of the Pope’s temple. It was not that she was against the old ways in which Sanctuary had worked for many a century, but it was true that her own laws had made the Saints the way they were. Athena felt her Saints needed to finally behave and act as a unit. After all, hadn’t been that the reason for the Bronzes to defeat them.
When he entered into the big dining room, the first he noticed was that she was not there. It was a custom already to be together for the meals. Athena wanted her Saints and friends to get to know each other and become a whole group; but it was going to take some time. However, so far, things were working just fine.
Shaina was not there, yet Marine was. Silently sitting there at the end of the large table, wearing a half mask that revealed only her mouth and the point of her nose, nothing else. But he remembered her eyes. Those beautiful hazel eyes which he would have adored some time before. But would not anymore.
Aioria sat, taking his placed at the table. Athena was sitting at the head and all of them had a place. That morning, he tried to sit close to the Goddess, but the seats were already taken, although there was an empty space that he took. Right in front of Marine.
Athena greeted them and breakfast began. All of them were very comfortable speaking and sharing but he felt it was not right at all. Something, or better, someone was missing.
Why had it taken him so long to realise he was in love with her? He thought. He sighed, letting the spoon fall into his cereal bowl.
“Is there something wrong, Aioria?”
The Saint looked at Athena who had just spoken; he looked at her, trying to hide his fears, but could not lie to her, although his words did.
“I’m just not hungry, that’s all My Lady.”
Athena looked at him. She could figure it out what was happening to him. In fact, it was crystal—clear for her. But she said nothing. Shaina had trusted and opened her heart to her and she was going to honour her trust.
He lowered his head and took the spoon again, bringing it to his mouth. He was making a great effort not only for not looking at Marine directly, but also for not allowing himself to lose his temper right there.
Where was she? He repeated to himself. He wanted to see her. That at least.
Maybe she was sick—or maybe she was training—but she had never disobeyed Athena’s wishes— Aioria started walking heading nowhere. Outside, he soon found himself sitting on the steps, the sunlight hitting on his face, making it look tanner than it actually was. Revealing his concern in his eyes.
“Hey buddy, are you staying?”
Milo’s words made no sense to him, he did not even try to understand them, and when he could no longer bear it, he looked at the Scorpio Saint. “I’m sorry, Milo.” He said shaking his head. “I just need to be alone right now. I’ll see you later.”
"Is everything ok, Kitten?" the young man smiled faintly and stood up following Milo down the path of the temples. Aioria walked away, leaving the other with a surprised expression on his face. He was walking absently. He did not notice nor hear what Milo was saying to him. He just kept walking not knowing himself where he was going. Not paying attention to the people around him. Leaving Sanctuary behind.
He felt like he was dying inside. Leo did not want to give a name to what he was feeling but it was not something he could actually avoid.
The Saint walked to the beach and sat right there. “Oh Athena, take this pain away from me” he muttered. It was so painful—he, Marine and Shaina had gotten into a situation he had never meant to happen.
He had loved Marine, knew that too well, and was not going to deny it. More than a year ago, when his brother was still a traitor, Seiya an apprentice and Athena was in Sanctuary, he would have given it all only for her.
However, what would she have been willing to do for him? He did not know and was sure he would never find out now. For his feelings for her had vanished long ago. When he had got tired of waiting for a sign of her trust. Yet, she had never trusted him. Shaina did not trust him either, did she? How could she trust him, when he had badly injured her not one but twice. One when she got between Seiya and him and his bolt was flying towards the first. The other one was when he had just killed Cassius and she wanted to help Seiya.
Seiya—Shaina—
Damn it!
His feelings were as much a mess as he himself was.
Marine—Seiya—Shaina—
His green eyes sparkled once again at the memories. He had seen her eyes for the first time in Japan—her eyes. As green as olive. As green as his own. A bunch of imaginary butterflies flew around his stomach, creating a marvellous void in his abdomen. He smiled.
That day Aioria had seen truth and strength in those same eyes. And he had also felt her body between his arms, also two times. Both of them he had wounded her. He sighed.
He had known the power of the great warrior in her. However, the night before, in a hidden river behind a sacred place, he had also seen the beautiful woman she was. He blushed.
She was not only beautiful or powerful—she was simply perfect. Perfect.
Aioria got up and started to walk along the beach. He used to walk when he was nervous. He could not help it to think about her. And in his memories he remembered the feelings of the quick touch of her skin when he had taken her to her small cottage after hurting her the two times—it was soft and tender, contrasting with the strength and ferocity her cosmos emanated. For a moment he closed his eyes and imagined the touch of her skin and the look of her eyes upon him.
Just to be with her. Holding her between his arms, filling his senses with her smell. Just that—to hold her and never let go.
“I love you.” He whispered to the wind after many an hour of being there.
Later, he returned to Sanctuary.
* * *
Shaina had taken a plane that took her to Italy; Athena’s money was being of some use after all. She had thought that maybe if she went to a place she could call home, then she might have found the place for her in the world. A place where she would fit [in]. So, she went home as she had told Marine she would.
The woman felt strange standing in that place. She had been told about Italy's geographical shape, she had also seen it on maps, but it was weird to be standing there. She was finally there, in Catania, on Sicily Island. After many years, she had returned. And her journey began.
She started to move from one place to the other looking for the only thing she actually remembered from that island. She could not even count the days; they were passing just too fast. However, the worst part of all was that she was missing Sanctuary badly. She started to miss her small cottage, the other amazons as well as training with them, she was even missing Marine. But most of all, Aioria was all she could think about.
Seiya was there in her thoughts but—it was not the same. Her memories were clear but the feeling was slowly fading away.
By Athena—if only she could be worthy of him—but she was not. She was a Korê, and according to the law, seeing an Amazon’s face was a humiliation even worse than seeing her nude and she was forced to kill or love the one who might dishonour her, yet—there was not any way that the man may fight for his life nor that he could love her back. Besides, she was sure he did not love her. The night she had left, Marine had smelt of him. It was not an intimate smell at all—but it was the same smell she had the two times he had carried her in his arms, she remembered it too well; and she had envied Marine. She still did. As much as she had envied her Goddess some time before.
She felt unworthy.
The Korê kept walking, following her memories. She (was) [had been] too little when she had left the place but for many a year, before she had been cast away, Geist used to tell her about the place, the people and their parents.
People looked at her strangely; her clothes were not normal for the place she was in, so she went to the nearest shop she found and bought some new clothes. She smiled when she saw her reflection in the mirror. And gasped when she paid more attention to her eyes.
They looked different. No, they were different.
There was not hate in them anymore. There were not any recognizable emotions in them; they were just—peaceful, as she had never seen them before. Why? She did not know.
She could just feel it was all because she was not in Sanctuary anymore, and only because of that, her journey was of more worth.
She left the place with a half smile on her face. Not even Marine would have recognised her. No one could have.
The dress really suited her, although she was feeling really strange wearing one, especially because that one left her legs from her knees down to everybody’s sight. She was wearing a pair of delicate sandals and had tied her hair in a pony tail, making her neck look longer that it actually was. In the small store, she had found something else, a silver chain with a snake rolling itself on a cane, a caduceus, just like Ophiuchus symbol was; which she was wearing with pride, although nobody but her knew the reason.
Not that she thought about it, not even she could have recognised herself.
Whenever she was walking by, men turned to look at her. Yet, she did not care. Too many years surrounded by men—most were even inferior to her own rank; the rest respected her enough as not to get involved with her in any way; so, she paid no attention to them. Too close to give them a sample of her ken.
She stood by a park and sat on a bench and began to eat some fruit. She took her bag and from all of her things, she took out a very old picture. A gorgeous woman and a very handsome man were sitting; each of them had a girl sitting in their laps. The photograph was too old and damaged because of the time. It was yellow and smelt of old things. However, the girls smiled as if the picture had just been taken. Besides, it was pretty clear who the girls were. Geist was with their father, she was with her mother. All smiling.
She looked at the picture and then in front of her, then back to the image. It was—the same place. She walked fast towards the old church What if—she shut her mind. It was not the moment for what if’s.
She opened the heavy door and walked inside. An old priest was lighting some candles. It was almost the moment for the rosary and very soon people would be there, so he was preparing the place for them.
“Excuse me, Father,” she said almost whispering. The man saw her and smiled responding to her in perfect Greek, after she had spoken, “May I help you?” she smiled and looked at him, happily showing the picture to him.
The man looked at her once again, trying to see if he had known her from somewhere until he finally seemed to have recognised her.
“Francesca—”
Ariadne, v.o 1 - 2005 / v.o 2 - March 11, 2008